Nobody expects a British Education

Othmar's Trombone

Pupil: Trouble at school.

Teacher: Oh no – what kind of trouble?

Pupil: One on’t cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.

Teacher: Pardon?

Pupil: One on’t cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.

Teacher: I don’t understand what you’re saying.

Pupil: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treadle.

Teacher: Well what on earth does that mean?

Pupil: *I* don’t know – Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the school, that’s all – I didn’t expect a kind of British Education.

[JARRING CHORD]

[The door flies open and Secretary of State for Education enters, flanked by Her Majesty’s Chief Inspector and a SpAd]

EdSec: NOBODY expects the British Education! Our chief aim is literacy… literacy and numeracy… numeracy and literacy… Our two weapons are numeracy and literacy… and…

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